emily-isobel

my names emily, i'm 20 years old and i like music.

my greatest fear.

As I lie here in this huge comfy double bed and take in my surroundings, a wave of self-loathing washes over me once again. These beds are made for two, so why did I not think a single would suffice? I reluctantly wrench myself out and pad through to my kitchen diner. Four chairs sit cold and lonely at my family dining table, mocking me about what might have been. If I’d have been different, if I wasn’t me. I turn to make myself a cup of tea, opening the drawer to a copious amount of unnecessary silverware. I search for a single spoon, pull it out, stir my cloudy tea and then throw it in my industrial sized sink. That sink is too big, it could definitely be smaller. I settle down at the redundant table and pull out my phone. ‘Hello, is that Winkworth Estates? Yes, I’m looking for something smaller, for a middle aged single woman.’

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